The Invincible M.A.E. (harleymae) wrote,
The Invincible M.A.E.

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I think they missed the point of Charlie's Angels

I watched Charlie's Angels last night and it was so bad I was going to quit watching when I remembered that Minka Kelly (who was the main reason I was even watching it) hadn't appeared yet. So I waited until she appeared and she was good and noticeably raised the quality of the episode, but it's still a pretty shitty show.

The fundamental problem is that (other than Minka) the Angels are not hot. I mean, that was the main appeal of the original show! Sure there were other things, but they're like... accessories. You need hot Angels. Is it really that difficult to find hot women in Hollywood???

The (non-Minka) girls aren't ugly (well, the one who got blown up kind of was), but they're average girls with a bunch of makeup slapped on them, and they have okay bodies, I guess, but nothing that gets a "wow". This could be because of the wardrobe, or maybe they don't know how to carry themselves or something, but there is just nothing sexy about them. Not even the way they talk, or an attitude... nothing. (Bosley is ugly and has zero charisma, but really who cares about him, this show should be about the girls.) The only thing approaching sexy was the ugly Angel shot from behind as she walked to her car for 5 seconds... and then promptly got blown up.

But this prompted probably the worst dialogue I've heard on TV since the '80s. (This is from memory, so not word for word):

BLACK ANGEL: I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up and she'll still be around!

She says this ten minutes after the ugly Angel gets blown up. This is the kind of thing you say after like a week and you still haven't accepted it. You don't say it right after the person dies!!! You haven't even woken up once since the person died!

WHITE ANGEL: My heart has never hurt this much before!!!

No comment necessary.

BLACK OR WHITE (can't remember which) ANGEL: She was our sister!

Okay, so if the three of you are sisters, and it's just the two of you talking to each other, why are you declaring this to the other person??? Oh right, because everyone (writers, director, actors) did a shitty job of actually showing that the three of you are supposed to be sisters. Something that Abrams or Whedon could establish in about three minutes of screen time. So you have to STATE that she was like your sister, and hope that the audience feels some kind of emotional reaction of shock and loss, instead of, "Oh sweet the ugly Angel is dead and that means Minka Kelly is going to show up soon!!!!" which is what I was thinking.

I thought The Playboy Club was fairly bad (and will almost certainly be cancelled) but it's a fucking Emmy winner next to Charlie's Angels. And has someone who is actually hot (Amber Heard). Speaking of, Bernie mentioned that she's a lesbian so I went to read her wiki entry and found this, in reference to Hidden Palms:
In order to get the part, Heard was asked to lose weight. It took her four months, daily workouts and a ban on carbohydrates to lose 25 pounds.
This poor, poor girl worked hard to lose that weight (it's hard for average/skinny people to lose weight--it's not like The Biggest Loser where people drop that in a week) and she ends up having to do numerous scenes making out with this ugly kid with tons of acne who probably only got the part through nepotism. :P Anyway, I hope the exposure (heh, heh) from The Playboy Club helps her get some better roles.

I'm fully taking advantage of what's possibly my last chance to read news articles about Petr in English (instead of Russian or Czech):

Capital idea: Devils top Rangers in Albany exhibition tilt
September 22, 2011 at 10:50 AM by AHN

Kareem Shaker – AHN Sports Reporter

Albany, NY, United States (AHN Sports) – The National Hockey League held an exhibition match at the Times Union Center Wednesday, marking the first time NHL teams played there in nine years.

Though the crowd of 9,420 was decidedly in favor of the New York Rangers, New Jersey Devils star Patrik Elias took a pass from fellow former Albany River Rat Zach Parise and scored 45 seconds into overtime to skate off with a 2-1 victory in the exhibition opener for both teams.

Petr Sykora scored Jersey’s other goal in the first period, while Keith Kinkaid, the former Union College All-American, stopped all 12 shots in 31 minutes of action for his pro debut. Sykora, 36, scored four goals in his last game with Albany Devils nearly 14 years ago.

“Oh, yeah, I remember that,” Sykora told the TimesUnion. “I remember that game because my good friend, Tomas Vokoun (fellow native of the Czech Republic), was in the net for the other team. We always talk about it in the summer.

“I have great memories. I played with Patty (Elias) and Sergei Brylin , and we had great chemistry. I have only good memories of here.”

Devils goalie Jeff Frazee got the win despite allowing Dale Weise’s tying goal with 4:21 to play in regulation.

“I thought both goalies were pretty solid,” New Jersey coach Peter DeBoer said.

The two teams face off in another exhibition match in Newark at the Prudential Center Friday.

The Devils tip off their season October 8 hosting Philadelphia. New York heads to Los Angeles for its season opener Oct. 7.

I love how Petr is like, yeah, Vokoun is one of my good friends! Every summer for the past 14 years I've taunted him with that one game where I scored 4 goals against him in the AHL!!! Also, I beat up on my 5 year old kid in backyard hockey!!!

Devils' Patrik Elias, Petr Sykora score goals in 2-1 win over Rangers in preseason opener
Published: Wednesday, September 21, 2011, 10:14 PM Updated: Wednesday, September 21, 2011, 11:34 PM
By Rich Chere/The Star-Ledger

ALBANY, N.Y. — It seemed like old times. Petr Sykora and Patrik Elias, former linemates, each scored a goal as the Devils defeated the Rangers, 2-1, in a preseason game tonight at the Times Union Center.

Sykora's came at 11:34 of the first period. Elias won the game 45 seconds into overtime when he redirected a Zach Parise pass by goalie Cameron Talbot.

"Like old times. Like 1995," Elias said.

Sykora, trying to make the Devils, is unsigned and in camp on a tryout. He had a hat trick in Monday's scrimmage and started the exhibition games on the right foot.

"I'm trying to make the team and Patty is just trying to get through training camp, I guess," Sykora joked.

Elias said: "Look at the last two teams he played for. He had to prove himself. He had a tough time in MInnesota. That's life. You have to make the most out of a situation. I think he has the right approach.

"He's making plays he probably hasn't made since he was 15 years old."

Sykora said he had the jitters.

"All around I got a few shifts with some top players on this team," Sykora noted. "I have to say I was nervous. I can't explain but I was nervous before the game. I'm not going to lie to you."

The Petr and Patty reunion kind of warms my heart. :) And Petr being nervous is so adorable. *sigh*

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