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The Invincible M.A.E.

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Jack Johnson

Phil Kessel is a dirtbag and so is his mom!

So Kessel's been in the news lately and Joolzie told me this morning that JMFJ had called Kessel a dirtbag, and I was like... wha?

Anyway, here's the dirtbag thing:

Kessel walks into the room. The Blue Jackets are the first of 20 interviews on his schedule. He is barely in his seat before Boyd says, "Teammates."


"Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"No," Kessel says.

He most certainly does. Kessel has a reputation for being disliked by teammates wherever he's played. Jack Johnson, 2nd overall in last year's draft, called him "a dirtbag" during one of his combine interviews.


"I don't have a problem with my teammates."

More silence.

"I don't have a problem with Jack Johnson."

More silence.

"I had lunch with him practically every day."

So then I became really curious because... what could he have done to make JMFJ call him a dirtbag? I mean, one of his friends is Patrick Kane. :P And then I did more digging, and uhh, it's possible that it's Crosby-related.

Basically, Kessel's MOM used to heckle Crosby really badly when he played at Shattuck-St. Mary's.

Johnson: Sid is the best player that I have ever played with or against. We hit it off right away during our first year at Shattuck. The whole chemistry of the team was so great; it was just like an immediate click.

One of my favorite Sid stories is the time that Phil Kessel's mom went right down to the glass and started heckling him before a face-off in the opponents' zone. She was calling Sid every nasty name in the book and telling him that he was overrated. Typically, Sid would win the face-off and set me up for a slap shot near the blueline. Not this time. Sid went up to me and said that he was going to win the face-off and take the puck himself and score. I just nodded my head.

Sure enough, the puck drops and Sid grabs possession. Within 2 seconds, the red light goes off and all Sid does is tip his hat to Mrs. Kessel. Just a classic Sid Crosby moment.

Okay, so ignoring the JMFJ/Crosby (which I somehow did on my first read-through), basically Kessel's mom is psycho. Seriously, how could you do that to a FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD KID??? Also, Crosby was much cooler when he was a person. :P

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No no no horrible and disgusting stuff about Kane is not supposed to inspire THAT kind of interest! Kane/Toews is totally wrong anyway. Try Kane/Gagner!


I was very innocently flist hopping a few days ago, when I came across a Toews/Kane primer post, and, like, died. They are douchey and uncomplicated and just so ridiculous!

I have to share my horror with you.



Okay, first warning sign: not a hockey fan.

"Kane, the Hawks' heartthrob" ...WAS THIS NOT A WARNING SIGN AS WELL???

But one of the most telling things is... they're not CHOOSING to be with each other. All the stuff they do together is by external circumstances, like being put on a line, or as roommates, or doing commercials, etc. Toews was not in the limo with Kane.

I don't know, they just don't seem very compatible. (Toews is also kind of in love with the entire team who are in love with him)

"Kane, the Hawks' heartthrob" ...WAS THIS NOT A WARNING SIGN AS WELL???


*covers ears* You are putting too much thought into it! Kane laughs in the face of logic, true facts.

Joking aside, I'm not really sure about my feelings in regards to them, yet, so... I'm just going with the flow, for now.

It is a terrible, terrible flow and you should not go with it! You should stick with things that you know are true! Like JMFJ/Crosby!

I am not as strong-willed as I pretend to be. I am overly flighty and fickle, and my curiosity will be the end of me. :(


(Or even Donuts/Simmer. backcheck ships them. It would be cute.)

(I like them, too! I like too many things! Woe is me.)

Thank you for your vote of support!

Just because it's douchey/dumb doesn't mean that it isn't love!

(I am no as invested in their bromance as I am pretending to be, but whatever, haha.)

Kathleen, it is because of you that I started shipping Jonny with THE ENTIRE WORLD. So, you know. Hearts and puke and shit.

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