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The Invincible M.A.E.

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Jack Johnson

Phil Kessel is a dirtbag and so is his mom!

So Kessel's been in the news lately and Joolzie told me this morning that JMFJ had called Kessel a dirtbag, and I was like... wha?

Anyway, here's the dirtbag thing:

Kessel walks into the room. The Blue Jackets are the first of 20 interviews on his schedule. He is barely in his seat before Boyd says, "Teammates."


"Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"No," Kessel says.

He most certainly does. Kessel has a reputation for being disliked by teammates wherever he's played. Jack Johnson, 2nd overall in last year's draft, called him "a dirtbag" during one of his combine interviews.


"I don't have a problem with my teammates."

More silence.

"I don't have a problem with Jack Johnson."

More silence.

"I had lunch with him practically every day."

So then I became really curious because... what could he have done to make JMFJ call him a dirtbag? I mean, one of his friends is Patrick Kane. :P And then I did more digging, and uhh, it's possible that it's Crosby-related.

Basically, Kessel's MOM used to heckle Crosby really badly when he played at Shattuck-St. Mary's.

Johnson: Sid is the best player that I have ever played with or against. We hit it off right away during our first year at Shattuck. The whole chemistry of the team was so great; it was just like an immediate click.

One of my favorite Sid stories is the time that Phil Kessel's mom went right down to the glass and started heckling him before a face-off in the opponents' zone. She was calling Sid every nasty name in the book and telling him that he was overrated. Typically, Sid would win the face-off and set me up for a slap shot near the blueline. Not this time. Sid went up to me and said that he was going to win the face-off and take the puck himself and score. I just nodded my head.

Sure enough, the puck drops and Sid grabs possession. Within 2 seconds, the red light goes off and all Sid does is tip his hat to Mrs. Kessel. Just a classic Sid Crosby moment.

Okay, so ignoring the JMFJ/Crosby (which I somehow did on my first read-through), basically Kessel's mom is psycho. Seriously, how could you do that to a FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD KID??? Also, Crosby was much cooler when he was a person. :P

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basically Kessel's mom is psycho

Oh, man, seriously. On what planet is that a good idea? She must be a piece of work.

Okay, so ignoring the JMFJ/Crosby


Even if Crosby were older that would still be so bad. Not to mention when he's just a kid.

... okay fine, fine. They do have a lot of love. Does that mean you're going to write it? *pokes*

Oh man...you didn't know about their past? We were waiting for JMFJ to deck him during the Olympics! lol... He freaking hates everything to do with him.

Haha, no, I pointedly ignored JMFJ until his... his stupid earnest videos of what he did to get to the opening ceremonies. *shakes fist* That's pretty funny that he detests him. I find rivalries funny. :)

Youth sports parents are evil. All of them. Crosby's parents were probably unreasonable and evil when he was in the youth system, though maybe not to this extent. Youth sports parents almost universally harass the 16-year-old ref who is calling their 10 year olds game and call him all the nasty names the book, they freak out about the coach's decision making, they don't realize that working on skills is much more important than winning the games until you're about 13.

And it gets worse the younger you go. At least by high school, parents who had high expectations but kids with no talent have figured it out and stopped being so overbearing and the parents have probably been called out at one point or another.

But I've covered lots and lots and lots of high school sports, and Kessel's mom is far from the worst thing I've heard.

Eek, all these parents missing the point their kid's happiness should be the most important thing. herwhereabouts was saying that both Crosby and JMFJ have asshole dads although I haven't heard any of the stories.

Aw, it's cute of Jack to stand up for his boyfriend.

That is like the basis of their friendship. Sid even asked him to defend his honour during a baseball game.

So maybe it's not all Phil Kessel's fault that he is the way he is! Good lord.

I don't really know anything about it, but parents do fuck things up. :P


I just feel like this is something you would be interested in reading ;)

Ahh thanks, that's a good one! I have a post with JMFJ articles and that one is archived in there, haha. That is probably the first JMFJ/Crosby fic ever written LOL! I mean, seriously, "long-distance relationship"? The stuff about Crosby going over to Jack's house was cute. :)

I... I really just wanted to know why Phil Kessel is a dirtbag. :(

oh man no wonder Kessell is so f'ed up.


Sadly, apparently this kind of behaviour is really common among sports parents. :(

omg....and Phil Kessel just looks like a big shy teddy bear to me. No wonder.

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