Rating: PG-13, some swearing
Pairing/Characters: Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, Devin Setoguchi/Torrey Mitchell, other San Jose Sharks
Dedication: tersa, who provided some ideas for this part. :)
Disclaimer: It's all lies!
Author's Notes: Hockey/zombies AU. Having escaped their roommate turned zombie Jason Demers, Torrey and Devin flee to Joe Thornton's house.
Days Gone Bye, Part 2
Joe Thornton was standing at his bedroom window upstairs, keeping a look out for the arrival of more cars at his house and praying that no zombies would appear.
It helped that he didn't live in a very densely populated area; the last news update he'd gotten from the TV had said that they were gravitating towards the most densely populated parts of San Jose and surrounding cities. The reason was left unspoken: densely populated meant a higher concentration of food for the zombies.
He'd managed to call all of his teammates before the cell towers went down; he had a land line, but he knew that not all of them did so he was relieved that he'd been able to get everyone on the phone or at least leave a message. He'd asked everyone to gather at his place; he didn't have a plan for what to do next yet, but he figured they'd be better equipped to deal with the zombies as a group.
Zombies. Joe was still a little stunned by the fact that they existed. He had been at Starbucks when he discovered that what he had thought was a particularly impatient person behind him in line was actually a zombie trying to chew on his shoulder. It had completely ruined his plans of enjoying a nice, leisurely morning with his wife and slightly sniffly baby daughter.
Patty Marleau lived the nearest to Joe, so he'd arrived first with Christina, the boys and the dog, muttering something about how a zombie had tried to eat his dog while he was out walking it. Then came Pavelski, Clowe, Heatley, Boyle, Vlasic, Couture and their respective families if they had them.
Less than half the team had arrived, but his halls were already echoing with screaming and crying and panicked shouts. The children weren't doing too well, either.
He heard a car stop down the street, but his line of sight to it was blocked by a tree. A few moments later he saw Torrey Mitchell and Devin Setoguchi running towards his house, looking around them worriedly as if they expected to see the zombie hordes bearing down on them at any moment. Joe went downstairs to open the door for them and they rushed in, slamming the door shut behind them then leaning against it, breathing hard.
"Uhh, where's Jason?" Joe asked. "Wasn't he with you guys?"
Torrey and Devin froze at the mention of Jason's name, then looked at each other expectantly. After several rounds of elbows digging into ribs and repeated hissings of "no, you tell him!", Torrey finally cleared his throat and answered Joe. "He uhh--well, the thing is, Jason turned into a zombie and we had to kill him."
"No, you killed him! With a baseball bat," Devin clarified.
"What? Why you little--you're the one who smacked him in the face with Harry Potter first!" Torrey poked Devin in the chest.
"I was just trying to stop him from biting you! You're the one who actually did the killing."
"But it was your idea! Get the chainsaws and axes, you said. Bash his head in, you said."
"You're still the one who killed him," Devin said stubbornly, crossing his arms.
Joe closed his eyes and started rubbing his temples as their bickering continued. He felt a headache coming on and he didn't feel too good in general. He was pretty sure that he'd caught whatever it was that his baby had, and he hoped that it was just a mild cold that would go away after a few days because it would be a pretty awful time to get the flu.
The doorbell rang and Torrey and Devin sprang away from the door, turning around and backing away from it slowly.
"Can zombies ring doorbells?" Torrey asked.
"They still have their fucking fingers, don't they?" Devin replied.
"I mean, could they figure out how to do it, you moron."
"Well, you can ring doorbells and they're probably not much dumber than you."
Joe opened the door, confirming that it wasn't in fact a zombie at the door, but Jamal Mayers, his wife and their two daughters. Behind them were several pieces of luggage.
"Hi, come on in. Uhh, that's a lot of bags. What's in them?"
Mayers leaned in to Joe and said in a low voice, "I don't really know, but they said everything's essential and I really didn't want a fight."
Joe nodded in understanding and helped him carry all the bags in. One by one, all of his teammates arrived at his increasingly crowded house; all except for the two Swedes: Nic Wallin and Douglas Murray. He kept waiting for them so that he could address his teammates as a whole, but when the sun started to set, it became clear that the two of them weren't going to show up.
He was preparing to address everyone when Patty pulled him aside and told him he needed to talk to him in private. Given that the house had been overrun by teammates, it took a while to find any place that was remotely private; the closest thing they could find was Tabea's walk-in closet.
"Joe, we can't all stay at your place. There's just too many guys--I'll take some of them back home with me. I'm only a mile away and we could stay in contact with walkie talkies."
Joe had arrived at the same conclusion; the bathroom situation alone was enough to make him want to cry. "I agree. So who stays with me and who goes with you?"
"Torrey and Devin stay with you," Patty said, perhaps a little too quickly.
"Well, then I get Pavs, Clowe and Heater."
"I get Boyle and Pickles."
"Fine. I get uhh, Cooch, Masher and Ferriero. You get everyone else." Joe put his hands in his pockets, looking pleased with himself.
"Hey, why do I get the guys with families?" Patty complained.
"Well, do you want to take Torrey and Devin off my hands instead?" Joe asked.
Patty thought about it briefly. "Umm, no, I'll take the families."
Joe gathered everyone in the living room and sent the older children into another room so that they wouldn't hear what he had to say. Patty stood by his side, wondering if he'd regret his decision to have that many small children in his house at once.
"Hey everyone, listen up!" Joe yelled, trying to get everyone to quiet down so that he could be heard. "Listen up. Okay, I think you guys have probably already realized this, but there isn't enough space in my house for everyone."
"I'll say," Clowe grumbled. "I've been holding it for like half an hour. I tried to take a piss outside, but there were three zombies staring at me, and I just can't do it with anyone staring at me like that."
"Anyway," Joe continued. "We're going to have some people go over to Patty's place. He's within walking distance and we've got some walkie talkies so we can call for help or give each other warnings."
"How do we decide who leaves?" Boyle asked, bouncing Wesley in his arms.
"Patty and I figured it out just now. Heater, Clowe, Pavs, Cooch, Torrey, Devin, Masher and Ferriero stay here. Everyone else goes to Patty's place."
There was scattered grumbling around the room, but nobody actually requested a change. Huskins wanted to go home, but was quickly talked out of it. Everyone instinctively wanted to be in as big a group as possible in the hopes that it would increase their chances of survival in the short term. Nobody had thought any further than that.
The guys with kids had their wives gather up the children while they went outside with their baseball bats, axes, chainsaws and other weapons to clear a path to everyone's cars. It didn't take too long with everyone working together, and soon the closest zombie was about a fifteen minute shamble away.
Patty went back into Joe's house to let the women and children know that it was safe to come out, passing Torrey and Devin on the way in.
"-totally like a girl. You definitely screamed like a girl," Torrey insisted.
"Did not! And you completely flipped out. 'Oh my God, Devin, we don't have any axes or chainsaws, wah wah wah!'" Devin shot back.
"Who manned up and did the actual killing? Huh? If it wasn't for me, Jason would be snacking on-"
Patty hurried out of Joe's house, profoundly happy that Torrey and Devin were staying right where they were.