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The Invincible M.A.E.


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Jack Johnson
harleymae

Sharks ween! Sharks ween!

So, last night early_afternoon sent me the link to the FULL TEN MINUTE VERSION OF JMFJ'S UNDISPUTED EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I delayed watching it to watch... Heatley's first star interview. :( :( :( But you know, his game was on last night and the Sharks had lost SIX games in a row, so. Joe did steal a hat trick from him, though, and all I could think was SPEZZA'S REVENGE!!!

Anyway, I couldn't watch the JMFJ video the whole way through without stopping because I had to pause when I started 1) laughing hysterically or 2) hyperventilating. I have saved it forever and ever, so maybe I'll take some screenshots and provide commentary or something, but... I just love him deeply. The video makes me want to have his little proud American babies.

Undisputed - Jack Johnson

There was also Dustin Brown on After Hours. ♥ Where I found out about his speech impediment and got to watch his "Yo Gabba Gabba" performance. I know backcheck has mentioned this before, but I always think she makes things up, when she hasn't. Like Captain Serious. And Donuts.





I also got to talk to joolzie for a long time and read some of her fic (!!!) so it was a good, good night. :)

[ Edit: Tati declared today that she saw zombies in the fog. Which doesn't seem out of the ordinary given there's always fog in horror movies, but... I've never shown her horror movie zombies! It's only been stuff from The Walking Dead and there is zero fog in that, given that it's set in Atlanta in the summer and primarily in the day. So she somehow came up with that horror movie trope all by herself! ]

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I WANT YOUR COMMENTARY ON UNDISPUTED. So much. SO MUCH.

Also, Dustin Brown. <3 <3 <3

Look in the comments! She found the video of Donuts and Matt Greene creeping on him ahahahahaha!

I just... did it not seem to you that they used the uhh... technique where you have 2 shots of JMFJ on screen at the same time WAY TOO MUCH? It felt like JMFJ would be talking then his identical twin brother would walk in and cross his arms and try to look tough.

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DOUBT ME? I KNOW MY IMAGINATION IS OFTEN GROTESQUE AND UNFATHOMABLE, BUT I DON'T MAKE SHIT UP JUST TO MAKE SHIT UP :( :( :( :( :(

In other news, I fucking adore Dustin Brown.

I don't know! It's just that the stuff you say always seems too good to be true!

He is pretty awesome. :) Checking the glass next to his baby. ♥

I've been recovering from a new and exciting allergy that my body thought I should try out for the past few days. FUN. :/ Annnnyway...

JJ IS TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD. I mean, sure, I laughed a bit and smacked my desk in glee while watching the extended version, but he is so honest! And earnest! And shiiiiny.

Dustin Brown, oh, dude. How so fucking cute? I've always adored Brownie, but the fact that he is so much more open in public/around media now is so great to see. The captaincy has done great things for him. His little dance! *sigh*

Also, you HAVE to check out this vid of Drew being adorable and Greener being creepy and hilarious.



(Btw, our teams won! Surely one of the first signs of the zombie apocalypse...)

AHH THERE'S VIDEO OF IT!!! backcheck posted screenshots, but it's nice to see the full clip in all its, uhh, glory. Also, I think that's the nicest I've ever seen him look! LOL at the title of the clip.

And I totally predicted Matt Greene's creepiness in fic! Like when he pops up over JJ's shoulder and says something and then JJ is scared and dodges away from him.

I love JJ's honesty and earnestness so much. I love that he just flat out says he wants to be as great as Leetch, Modano, Roenick, etc.

I like that Dustin Brown just... didn't talk for a year LOL. Patrick Marleau seemed to never talk either until he became captain. Well, even now I don't really believe he talks, but teammates claim that he does and reporters print quotes that are apparently authentic. :P

I hope the win helped you feel a little better about your allergies!

Edited at 2011-01-17 05:52 am (UTC)

I thought of your fic, too! Lol. Right when Greene creeped in, I was reminded of that JJ and Greener scene, and had to take another second to appreciate it.

Have you seen this video before? It's Greener being hilarious and telling Fighting Sioux players how to prepare/play hockey like a pro.



"Really utilize the groin stretch." "I don't even know what this stretch is, but I see people do it, so I do it."

I love how at some point they pan out and Miller is about to lose it, muahahaha! And you can hear someone snickering off-camera too.Fantastic.

They interviewed Drew during the first intermission of Saturday's game, but he was all serious business about it, which was kind of disappointing. At least he made up for it in the post-game. I was squeaking after his goal, cos' Kopi and Dustin Brown and JJ came in for the celebration. :)

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Haha, creepy cute is definitely possible. It's something that Greener does really well.

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LOL, you're falling into the trap too!

After Murray was fired all kinds of shit came out (or at least, for me. I guess other people were aware of all the crazy shit that went down). I first heard about the lisp thing after Avery left LA and everyone said he tortured Brownie about it. I'm glad that Norstrom, Robitaille and Lappy were there for him.

My friend sent out a list of how to prepare for being a parent, and one was to watch nothing but Yo Gabba Gabba and Sesame Street and the like for 5 years straight. HAHAHA

backcheck told me about the Avery thing but I always think she's just making stuff up. That is so mean. :( That is so much worse than his Elisha Cuthbert comment.

*chortles* Well, how to prepare for being a good parent anyway. I don't think that's one of the things I could handle doing. :P

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids
by Amy Lawrence on Tuesday, January 4, 2011 at 7:24am

Lesson 1



1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.



Lesson 2



Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.



Lesson 3



A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)



Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.



Lesson 4



Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?




Lesson 5



Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.



Time allowed for this - all morning.



Lesson 6



Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.



Lesson 7



Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.



Lesson 8



1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.



You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.



Lesson 9



Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.



Lesson 10



Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.



Lesson 11



Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.



This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

I think the thing that would kill me is the first few years when they don't sleep through the night. I don't know how parents do it. Alex and Tessa were such zombies. I also get grossed out when Tati eats food that's been dropped on the floor. I can barely handle people eating things that have been on tables or counters!!! And I'm always dodging when she tries to grab me with dirty hands.

But other than that, she's so well-behaved and funny rather than exasperating when she messes up. Alex and Tessa are really doing a good job with her. :)

I'm blaming it on the fact that none of my real/other/whatever teams are playing tonight, but somehow I'm watching the Kings game.

Not right.

Ahahaha you succumbed as well.

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