The Invincible M.A.E.

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Brian Wilson

Perhaps next I'll have the strength to watch the Zito thing

So I finally watched Life of Brian and it's pretty much one of the best things ever. He is forgiven for many things for this. However, he did get me at Rock Band. *siiiiigh* I was enjoying the show and he was giving a tour of the house and started talking about "Barry's room" at which point I screamed "FUCK!", paused the show and turned the TV off. Completely by reflex. It's not bad enough they lived together in the off-season they have to do it now too? WTF happened to Barry's "serious" gf? Did they break up? He posted some weird emo thing to Twitter a while back but I thought that was just him attempting to sound deep and philosophical.

*ahem* Anyway, if you want to watch it, even if it's just for Zito's room (which has "pillars" in it), video is here.

If you're not watching it, let me summarize:
  • Brian Wilson is a ninja with the metabolism of a field mouse.

  • He covets Zito's shower because it is fully glassed in and his only has half glass. He says Zito likes to take baths. Brian doesn't like to take baths. He says it's because he wasn't raised on baths. What he really means is that he thinks baths are gay.

  • He declares in the morning that it's not going to rain. Then it rains like a mofo.

  • He has Odwalla in his fridge. :D Or maybe that's Zito's. Hmm.

  • HE PLAYS ROCK BAND. Expert guitar on Mississippi Queen, Say It Ain't So and Enter Sandman, which are relatively easy songs on guitar. HE DOES NOT ALT-STRUM. His buddy plays drums on hard. I don't blame him.

So I was already in somewhat of a state when abby20 channeling joolzie told me about the following updates from Allan Walsh, Petr Sykora's agent:

Got a call from client Petr Sykora. He was out today in Pitt and a copperhead rattlesnake jumped out from a stairway and almost bit him.
Apparently, copperheads are quite common in Pitt. Scared the hell out of him!
Seriously, I am light-headed right now. I can't think of a more Petr thing to happen.

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What the fuck was this copperhead doing in a stairway, even if they ARE common in Pittsburgh?

I'm staying the hell away from stairways the next time I'm in Pittsburgh!!!

I just have the best image of him shrieking in terror and then calling his agent and bursting into tears. Perhaps there will be a rattlesnake clause in his next contract.

I imagine him screaming, then later laughing at himself and calling his agent...

*cries* Like when he broke his hip and then shook his cane at some kids and laughed at himself about it!!!

... oh wait, that didn't really happen.

...Whaaaaa? Since when are rattlesnakes common in Pittsburgh??

I'm confused.

Perhaps they only appear to terrify Czech hockey players.

Perhaps... it was a garden hose?

that is a petr thing for sure ... poor guy is having a hella time :(

and yeah ... they are very common out here.

Lots of stupid things happen to him. Or maybe he just has stupid reactions to things, hahaha.

I'm staying away from stairways in Pittsburgh!

lol. poor guy!

there are a lot of old, unused outside stairways that traverse the hills and through woods in the city ... i'm thinking it was something like that as opposed to an actual stairway to a building or something ...

they're more prevalent in less populous areas.

Oh... that would make more sense. Kind of like when he said the floods in Prague in 2002 didn't affect him because everyone he knows lives on ahill.

And... that sounds lovely! Makes me want to go hiking there. Umm, except for the rattlesnakes.

not so much rattlesnakes ... more copperheads. and you can smell them (an overwhelming smell of cucumbers) before you see them.

and yeah, it's all part of life here in the not so big city. lol.

petr has a unique take on things for sure!

Cucumbers!!! That's very interesting. And sounds like it could make for some very inconvenient associations. Like if someone was bitten by a copperhead and they get served a cucumber salad and then shriek and run away screaming.

Petr is a very special boy. :)

lol. i never gave it a thought ... but i think you're really on to something there!

petr is phenomenal!

It sounds like a TV show. "That's So Petr!"

I WOULD SO WATCH THAT!!! With Patty playing the HIMYM Barney character.

It's also entirely possible that the only rattlesnake in the entire city of Pittsburgh tracked him down to lunge at him.

Yeah, so I think it's been awhile that he's been broken up with that girl. Big shocker, yeah, because I don't know how he gets girlfriends in the first place because he is creepy. I wonder how many just laugh at him?

Probably before the off-season when he and Wilson lived together in LA, eh?

He's creepy, but he's also rich which overcomes a lot. I am sad! I was looking forward to him getting married because I think it would make him less of an ass. (And also not ruin Brian Wilson's life.) Ah well.

baths are gay. and fabulous!

EW loves them, of course they're gay!!! :D

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