The Invincible M.A.E. (harleymae) wrote,
The Invincible M.A.E.

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Seventy Years From Home

My God, what have I done?

Femslash. Computer game femslash. Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force femslash. And cheesy too. *weeps*

Beware! Cheesy PG-13 F/F slash behind the cut.

Seventy Years From Home

"Would you die for me?" The words that come out of my mouth don't seem have to been formed in my brain. I'm guessing that exhaustion is their source.

"What?" Telsia blinks at me, frowning with the effort of trying to focus on me.

"Forget it. Ignore what I said." I stretch and turn on my side. I am so fucking tired. We're stranded in the middle of a graveyard of derelict ships, and Voyager is about to become the next one. Even now I can sense that thing, the Harvester, coming closer to us. It's going to do what it did to all those other ships. Attach itself to us and rip us apart bit by bit.

And kill everyone aboard.

"You asked me," Telsia persists, slowly shaking off the precious sleep we've had so little of since we ended up here. "You asked me if I would die for you."

"Go back to sleep, Telsia." I want to sleep. It feels like we've been going on missions non-stop for the past three days, gathering data, then collecting isodesium so that we can restore power and get ourselves the hell out of here. My body feels like it's about to shatter into pieces. But my mind is still awake.

"I would die for you. All of us would die for you." she murmurs, and I wish she would just stop talking and let me rest. "Kenn died for you."

"No!" I flip over on my other side to face her, glaring at her hotly. "He died because of me! It was my fault."

"Stop blaming yourself, Alex, we've been through this so many times." Telsia sighs, as she brushes a lock of brown hair off her face. "Nobody blames you except you."

"I don't deserve to be in command of this squad." I mutter. "It's just like Tuvok said, I'm too reckless, too emotional. I tried to save one person and I got another killed."

"You don't have to make the right decisions all the time to be the team leader. You need heart and courage." She rests her head on my shoulder and I feel just a little bit better.

"How about intelligence?" I ask, smiling in spite of myself.

"Oh, you don't need intelligence. That's what the rest of us are for." My smile grows bigger as I see her's.

I think of the Harvester coming for us, inexorable, bringing death to us, and it must show in my face because Telsia's expression grows grim.

"Telsia," I say her name softly, gently, because this is the only place and the only time either of us can ever be soft or gentle. "Even if we somehow get out of this alive, we're still right back to where we started, just about."

"Seventy years from home." she whispers, and I can hear the longing in her voice. I can hear the desperate unheard cry to her family and friends.

Why did I ask her if she would die for me? I already knew the answer. All of us would die for anyone else on the squad. It's not something we have to think about - we live it every day, every time we go on a mission.

What was I really asking?

"Telsia, I would die for you too." I say, kissing her forehead. I'm not sure if she understands.

Seventy years doesn't seem like such a long time.

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