The Invincible M.A.E. (harleymae) wrote,
The Invincible M.A.E.

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This is possibly why I have low self-esteem

Had a dream that my mother frowned at me and said, "You're fat." This pretty much describes our relationship my whole life in succinct fashion! :P

That never happened IRL, exactly, but I think it might have been floating around in my mind after I told lastcatastrophe a few weeks ago that she [Edit: my mother] asked, "Why are your thighs so big?" back when I was in junior college and like, 105 pounds, haha. Anyway, both IRL and in my dream, I kind of had this blase "well, that's par for the course" reaction, but it probably did affect me on some deeper level, otherwise why would I still remember it?

I do think of myself as a little fat, but that's by Singaporean standards, and when you're living in a country with 90-degree weather and 90% humidity, that tends to keep you pretty skinny. Don't really care enough to do anything about it at the moment, or I would, you know, hit the gym and stop pigging out. :P

I know I am not fat, by BMI and height-weight charts and all that jazz, and I do know that nobody thinks I am, either. I'm pretty mellow about the whole thing and more concerned with other flaws. ;)
Tags: dream
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