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The Invincible M.A.E.

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This is possibly why I have low self-esteem

Had a dream that my mother frowned at me and said, "You're fat." This pretty much describes our relationship my whole life in succinct fashion! :P

That never happened IRL, exactly, but I think it might have been floating around in my mind after I told lastcatastrophe a few weeks ago that she [Edit: my mother] asked, "Why are your thighs so big?" back when I was in junior college and like, 105 pounds, haha. Anyway, both IRL and in my dream, I kind of had this blase "well, that's par for the course" reaction, but it probably did affect me on some deeper level, otherwise why would I still remember it?

I do think of myself as a little fat, but that's by Singaporean standards, and when you're living in a country with 90-degree weather and 90% humidity, that tends to keep you pretty skinny. Don't really care enough to do anything about it at the moment, or I would, you know, hit the gym and stop pigging out. :P

I know I am not fat, by BMI and height-weight charts and all that jazz, and I do know that nobody thinks I am, either. I'm pretty mellow about the whole thing and more concerned with other flaws. ;)

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I thought you meant lira asked you about your thighs and was very perplexed a moment *giggle* moses

Oh god, no, ahahaha. *clarifies post*

I think it was clear and i'm dopey *g*

I did, then I cackled evilly, kicked a puppy and ate a baby. Jeez! :(

funny, i was just about to write an lj post about going on a diet. feeling pretty fat this morning, me. :)

... but yeah, about the whole mother thing, i've felt the same way for years and years too (as you know). sucked!

Hive lives instead of hive minds.

Mine is, "Your hips are so much bigger than mine. You have breeders' hips."

I mean, I've been told that I'm fat on several occasions, but I'm pretty sure that one sticks out because I was 14 and we pulled out tape measures and everything.

Strangely enough, yesterday for the first time in like 5 years I hit my hips on like 4903284328 things. I used to do this all the time in high school because I could never properly gauge distance and thus would hit things with my hips, and then as I got older, I learned that most of the time my body was big enough to move the object or resilient enough not to mind if it was bumped around and just began ramming into things with no concern. Well. I mean, you know how most people will bump into something and look sheepish? I just bump and keep on going as if nothing happened because it happened so often. Either I moved into a place with more room and less furniture, or my mind managed to figure out how to avoid things. But then... I've been working at the same place for over 10 months and just yesterday bumped into things like mad. So who knows.

So we're all clumsy and think we're fat even though we're not. :P Eek, tape measures. :(

It really boggles my mind that anyone could call you fat. Not only do you have a great figure, but you're in shape with, you know, those things that I hear help you do stuff... muscles, those are them.

Seriously, it is so hard for me to imagine why you would have low self esteem... you are about the most awesome person I know and cute as a button.

But it's devastating what our mothers can do to us isn't it?

I think it's probably to do with being constantly criticized throughout childhood. :P

Oh, definitely. And getting over it in adulthood, even when you *know* that's what happened, is so difficult!

Funny how little comments like that can stick with us our whole lives.

For the record, I think you're absolutely lovely.

My childhood was kind of a whole series of little comments like that! :P

*hugs* Thank you. :)

Yeah. I'm sure it's probably much worse when you really aren't fat, but I feel that.

I'm really glad you edited before people hunted me down with pitchforks! Because, seriously, you're so tiny. But I know what that's like, I was pretty skinny as a kid and even though I know technically I'm not "fat" right now, it's hard to look in the mirror sometimes and not feel like a whale. Although my mother at least never called me fat. I think your mom could make make Hitler cry.

I'm just short! And I was really skinny as a kid too, so I have the same kind of thoughts. Your mom is really nice. I feel like she's mythical, like a unicorn or something.

Mythical!! Dude, so going in the quote book.

She's a pretty great mom. But she also gave me a ton of body issues without trying, as well as a really fucked up model for marriage. No one's perfect.

I am very skeptical whenever I meet mothers who don't seem to be actively trying to ruin their children's lives!

Meep. :( They need to teach marriage classes in school.

BMIs are total bullshit. I weigh 136 and I'm like 5'5". That's supposed to be good, but for my frame... I weigh way too much. POOOOOOP MOUTH BMI CHARTS!

The problem with them is that they don't take body fat percentage into account. So certain athletes who have a lot of muscle are "overweight" for example.

BTW, are you going to tomorrow's game? Do I finally get to meet you??? :P

Yeah, it's funny how that kind of stuff sticks with you even when you don't always realize it. Though the stuff that sticks with me is more from school and friends (and "friends") than from home. I'm lucky to have really great parents. :)

And I understand what you mean, but I still can't imagine anyone thinking you're fat. You're like, perfectly adorable and pocket-sized!

Aww, school was my haven from home, so I guess it was reversed.

We have different standards! When you go over 50kg (110 pounds) you get questionable, and 55kg (120 pounds) oh... that's getting on the heavy side! Of course, we're also very short, haha.

Yes, it sounds like reverse situations. :) Although school wasn't much more horrible than is typical, I guess, but I definitely had more trauma there than at home.

Haha, I understand! It's just a little hard to get my head around. :) (Just out of curiousity as a fellow short person, how short are you?)

I am 5'3". Which is actually a reasonable height, except it seems to be in between ankle and regular in Old Navy/Gap sizes. Suddenly I'm not sure why I converted kg to pounds for you. Do you guys use the metric system for weight as well? Or just distance?

Weirdly, I've never met anyone here who routinely uses metric for weight or height! Most other things, yes.

I'm also 5'3", and yeah, I often end up with pants that are too long or a little bit too short, heh. It's right where petite and regular sizes intersect, damn it. *shakes fist*

I think it's so funny how Canada is technically part of the Commonwealth and all that, but is so greatly influenced by the US (like, understandably so, being right on the border), but then... not liking that much and overcompensating by spelling words "honourary" (should be "honorary") and using the phrase "tonnes of (stuff)" when in that usage it's "tons" (Uhh, hi Kate!). And then ending up with a weird mishmash, hehe.

It is! We are in-betweens. *sigh*

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