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The Invincible M.A.E.


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Mae
harleymae

Perkele!

So, while trying to find pictures of the Finnish president to show to Chip because he's mentioned on the show that she looks like him, I also found this open letter written to Conan O' Brien by a Finn, encouraging him to visit Finland, and... I think I may understand why Tuomo Ruutu (and Ville Nieminen, and Jarkko Ruutu, and Hannu Toivonen, etc) are all insane.

Things Conan O' Brien should know about Finland

Here are my favourite bits:

David Lynch is 1/4 Finn - his grandfather was a Finn and very strange inward person.

Finns were last in Europe to have their own writing language - we are forest people, we were forced to be " civilized " by aggressive Swedish and Danish soldiers, reverends and monks who destroyed all our special sacred trees

Finns were Sweden´s slaves and it´s army in years 1400-1550 and we were very brutal and furious soldiers and that´s why Sweden was superpower and got rich country - robbing Europe by slave Finn-soldiers. But Sweden left us alone with war with Soviet Union. Thats bitter thing.

Swedes have been stolen sauna's marketing - their lame Swedish hot rooms are nothing like original hot saunas.

And then, the mention of a mysterious, feral race of people known only as "wild Finns"!

Conan,

I have heard that city of Turku is inviting you. Allright. They are our
"Texas", ruled by many elitist moneygangs.

Helsinki is "only" civilized place in Finland but you know, if you are
looking for speechless and facelss yuppies, go for Turku.

In Helsinki there is suburban place named Kontula. There you will see
quite wild Finns. Oh man. Pub and more pubs. Thats our Harlem. There´s our hip hop-culture and rebellious young street girls, "pissing princesses". Poorest but proudest Finns.


And, for Kennedy and Kate:

Procentually we have in Finland most in the world: most succesful rally drivers "flying Finns"


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Apparently they're a very self-conscious people, so he was doomed the moment he mentioned Finland on the show.

One variation of the Finnish elephant joke:
"There were French, German and Finnish people, who all had to write a book about elephants. The French wrote a report about sexual life of the elephants, the Germans wrote a long 2-part book "A short introduction to the Anatomy of the Elephants" and the Finns wrote a book "What the elephants think about Finland"

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