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The Invincible M.A.E.


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Petr
harleymae

He still loves him!

Ahh, I thought that Patty had forgotten all about Petr, but he still loves him enough to go to the frozen wastes of Magnitogorsk for him! *squeals to death*

Computer-translated Russian article:
Elias - in Magnitogorsk!

Today the contract with Magnitogorsk "Metallurgist" was signed by Czech forward Patrick Eliash. In 2000 it became the owner of the Cup Stanley in structure New-Jersey Devils together with Peter Sikoroj already playing "Metallurgist". In 2003 when New-Jersey Devils again has won the most prestigious transatlantic trophy, Patrick acted in his structure already without compatriot Sikory.


*sigh* Peter Sikoroj has been reunited with his buddy.

Or, as someone so eloquently expressed in the comments: Here it is news!!! Sykore the partner will come!!!


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AND THEY SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD. IT'S A MIRACLE!! THIS IS THE GREASTES LIFETIME MOVIE PLOT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Romance?

GIRL, DID YOU FALL OFF THE TRAIN AND THEN GET STOMPLED ON BY A BUNCH OF ELEPHANTS WHO HAPPENED TO BE CARRYING SAFES FILLED WITH SHINY NEW PENNIES THAT THEY ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD?

This is not romance. This is friendship.

THIS IS BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

BFF! Don't be playin like you don't know what I'm talking about.

I think also, if ... dude, we don't even have a name.. but if Pattroka.. Petrash.. was greater than Arkora, a little part of me might just die.

However, if this is the new canon, Mae, I think you should think up a cute name and then I can get all indignant and start screaming at you about PeTRASH. And how their love isn't as true as Arkora's.

tersa came up with "Arlias", which I quite like. :)

I think the two of them have the love of really good friends who occasionally mess around when they're drunk or sad or happy and they aren't with other people.

OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE IN SUCH DENIAL OVER WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY ONE OF THE GREATEST LOVE STORIES THE NHL HAS EVER KNOWN, EXCEPT PERHAPS FRO CHRIS PHILIPS AND WADE! REDDEN.

FRIENDSHIP?? HA! FRIENDS ALRIGHT - WITH BENEFITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW CAN YOU SPEAK OF LOVE AND NOT MENTION MIKE MODANO AND BRETT HULL.

IT'S AS IF I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE.

Wait. I don't know you. Hmm..

IT'S AS IF I KNEW YOU BUT DIDN'T KNOW YOU AND MAYBE WHEN I ONCE MIGHT HAVE KNOW YOU HAS NOW DISINTEGRATED AND I DON'T EVEN PERHAPS COULD KNOW YOU ANYMORE.

And really, you have it all wrong. See, PeTRASH is all about love on the surface and deep mad sex underneath. And Arkora is all about sex, but love underneath. So PeTRASH is a harlequin (?) romance and Arkora is the real deal.

THE REAL DEAL.


YOU SPEAK OF THE LOVE THAT IS HUDANO, YET YOU NEGLECT THE TORRID, INSATIABLE, UNCOMFORTABLE AND OFTEN TIMES PAINFUL TO WATCH LOVE THAT IS BRAD RICHARDS AND VINCENT LECAVALIER, OR, AS THE POETS CALL IT? "BRINNY"? FOR SHAME FOR SHAME. WHERE IS YOUR HEART WOMAN???? THOSE TWO DON'T EVEN WASE TIME EVEN ATTEMPTING TO HIDE IT ANYMORE!!!

AND NOW! NOW! MORE BLASPHEMY!! ARKORA COULD NEVER BE THE REAL DEAL. NEVER!! THE BOND BETWEEN PATTY AND PETR WILL NEVER BE BROKEN. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE IN THE WORLD CUP PICTURES?

THE COUPLE THAT STREAKS THEIR HAIR TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER.......


THE LOVE THAT IS HUDANO IS DOCUMENTED. DURING THE OLYMPICS, WHICH OTHER COUPLE WAS DESCRIBED AS "TWO LOVERS REUNITED AFTER A LONG COLD WAR"?

THAT'S RIGHT. NONE.

BRINNY IS SHIT. NONEXISTENT. VINORELLA IS TENFOLD WHAT "BRINNY" WAS.

IT'S NOT BLASPHEMY IF I SPEAK THE TRUTH. I HAVE THE BOOK OF HOTGAYSEX. IT IS SIMILAR TO THE BOOK OF JOB. ONLY WITH BETTER PICTURES. HIGHLIGHTS ONLY PROVE THAT PATTY WANTED TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT HIS HAIR IS BETTER THAN PETR'S.

*gasp*

AT LAST! YOU AND I SEE EYE TO EYE!! VINORELLA IS INDEED, INDEED! THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL. IT IS SOOOO THE IKE AND TINA TURNER "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH I?" LOVE/HATE/CHEAP SUITS/DIVA TEMPER TANTRUM DRAMA THAT IS, LET'S FACE IT, COMPLETE JUSTIFICATION FOR THE EXISTENCE OF HOCKEY IN FLORIDA, CHAMPIONSHIP BE DAMNED.

AND I ALSO AM A DEVOUT READER OF THE BIBLE OF HOTGAYSEX. ONLY, I AM PARTIAL TO "THE BOOK OF REDDEN" WHICH OF COURSE AS YOU KNOWS BEGINS WITH:" I AM THY WADE!, THY ALTERNATE CAPTAIN, WHO HAST LED YOU OUT OF THE AIR CANADA CENTRE OF BONDAGE, TO THE COREL CENTRE OF FREEDOM. THOU SHALL HAVE NO ALTERNATE CAPTAINS BEFORE ME......"

I AM A DEVOUT PRACTICING WADE!IST, HOPING TO ONE DAY BE ORDAINED A FULL ON WADE! MINISTER.

PS. I actually think that this would be a better made-for-tv-NBC/CBS movie as it would be more like that TRUE STORY about that soldier and that uhh.. princess, right? Who got married? C'mon help me out, people. Anyway, they were on Oprah too, like a few years ago and ZACH MORRIS played the solider, I think.

Anyway, were this to a Lifetime movie, Petr would really have to spend a lot more time in the ugly, cold Russian area and he went there to play hockey, but he wasn't very good and the other boys teased him so often that he became anorexic and then got into drugs to make him feel better about his ugly body and then had to turn to prostitution for drug money. His body image of course is muddled and derived from the years of sexual abuse that he recieved from his uncle after his mother left his abusive father, and then, wanting to be young and free again, she abandoned poor Petr and left him at his uncle's house.

Patty, of course, is the perfect boyfriend who once knew this girl, vaguely, who might have had an eating problem b/c she ate a lot of carrot sticks. He helped her to overcome her problem and start dipping them in FATTY ranch dressing. Now, he will help Petr. HIS LOVE WILL SAVE HIM.

Of course, he has to travel thousands of mile by plane. Wait--but they didn't have any tickets. So he took a train. Which derailed. So then he had to take a bus. But then the bus broke down. So then he started hitchhiking and he'd only get rides by telling everyone that he was off to rescue his love.

There is more to this movie, but I do not want to ruin the ending.

Do the two of them trek into the frozen wilderness to live out the rest of their lives in peace after they're outed and shunned by society?

WAIT WAIT WAIT WHY DID YOU LEAVE OUT THE PART WHERE CANDACE CAMERON (BURE) BECOMES PETR'S CONFIDANT ON THE STREETS, AND THE TWO TAKE REFUGE IN A HALFWAY HOME FOR WAYWARD HOCKEY PLAYERS AND FORMER B ACTRESSES DESPERATELY CLINGING TO FAME BY MARRYING PRO HOCKEY PLAYERS - WHICH SO HAPPENS TO BE RUN BY - CAROL ALT.

Clinging to fame? Actually, Bure is whipped (hello fairy boy) so he has really just relinquished his Balls O Fame to her and now he's clinging to her and (his own) fame.

But I did enjoy that part of the movie. Nearly as good as the underwater scene.

OMG YOU MISSED THAT?

It was so awesome! There were singing fish and like, Petr has a mermaid tale and there were strategically placed clam shells and a whole musical number.

Did his long, dyed-blonde hair flow in the current?

I can picture this all too well. :(

BUT THE QUESTION WITH VAL IS - IS HE LIKE HIS CANADIAN COUNTER PART - QUESTIONABLY HETEROSEXUAL KYLE CALDER - OR WAS IT JUST BEING MARRIED TO HER WHEN HIS BROTHER WAS BOPPING ANNA WHORINKOVA THAT EMASCULATED HIM, AND FINALLY SENT HIM OVER THE EDGE, MAKING HE AND CANDANCE THE NHL'S FIRST LESBIAN COUPLE?

BURE RESENTS THAT. HE IS ALL MAN, JUST IN A FAIRY COSTUME. YOU DON'T NEED BALLS TO BE A MAN. ONLY A PENIS FOR A BRAIN.

VAL ALWAYS DID TRY TO BE LIKE HIS BIG BRO. SO HE WENT FOR A BLONDE TOO. I THINK HE CHOSE WISELY. AFTER ALL, ANNA IS A SEXY, INTERNATIONAL TENNIS STAR.

CANDANCE HAD HER OWN FUCKING TV SHOW. BOOYAH, FEDS. YOUR BROTHER TOTALLY BEAT YOU IN THE WIFE-COMPETITION.

... AND KYLE CALDER IS *QUESTIONABLY* HETEROSEXUAL? I THOUGHT ALL THE ARTILCLES IN GAYSEX TIMES DISPROVED THAT.

I THINK THAT VAL'S PROBLEM? IS THAT HE REALIZES HIS TO HIS HORROR HE'S MARRIED THE WRONG SEED OF BOB SAGET, AND IF ONLY HE HAD BEEN A LITTLE MORE PATIENT AND WAITED A FEW MORE YEARS, HE MIGHT HAVE HAD THAT OLSEN TWIN.

KYLE GETS THE "QUESTIONABLE" FOR HIS COMMENDABLE ATTEMPT AT PLAYING IT STRAIGHT. SURE, THE WIFE, THE BABY... IT'S COMMENDABLE, KYLE...LAUGHABLE, BUT COMMENDABLE NONETHELESS. SO WE GIVE HIM POINTS FOR THAT.

Patty decided to try out the younger, flashier model (Marty) but ended up fighting bitterly with him, and Marty spurned him for Dynamo.

Newly remorseful, Patty made amends with Petr, and the tears flowed freely as Petr took him back and extended a welcome to hell Siberia.

Yes, this must be exactly what happened!

The two of them make me all melty. :)

OMG! Even in badly translated Russian theirloveissotrue!!!

There were some comments that talked about getting Whore over there too. *giggle*

SO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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